Nine Crucial Guidelines for Cultivating Intimacy in Your Partnership

Intimacy is a vital aspect of relationships, especially for married couples. Multiple studies have shown that lack of marital intimacy often leads to divorce. Whether you have a healthy or struggling relationship with your partner, here are nine tips to help nurture and boost intimacy.

FOCUS ON COMMUNICATION

Communication is integral to building intimacy in relationships. You and your partner must feel safe and comfortable discussing intimate issues without the fear of humiliation or judgment. Express your innermost thoughts and feelings with each other and be direct about it. Communicate your desires to your significant other, and be mindful of your words. The more vocal you both are, the more intimate your relationship can become.

IMPROVE PHYSICAL INTIMACY

Physical intimacy is one of the most powerful ways to boost intimacy in couples. Aside from having a healthy sexual relationship, it also includes simple gestures such as caressing, kissing, holding hands, and hugging.

To help enhance the emotional connection between you and your beloved, you must increase physical contact. Make it a point to show physical affection to your partner every day. Instead of waiting for them to initiate physical touch, be proactive and initiate it yourself.

SPEND MORE QUALITY TIME

Passion and intimacy can decrease over time, especially if you’ve been with your partner for years. It is also relatively easy to get unattracted from your significant other due to a lack of quality couple time. No matter how hectic your schedules are, you must set aside time for each other and incorporate meaningful activities into your daily routine. Even if it is as simple as having breakfast coffee together for a few minutes or going for a night walk around the neighborhood, make spending quality time a priority and not an afterthought.

DISPLAY VULNERABILITY

Being vulnerable is another way to increase intimacy in your relationship. Expressing your fears, sharing your dreams, and being vocal about your insecurities can enhance intimacy and increase trust with one another. While sharing your deepest secrets can be emotionally and mentally challenging, especially if you have low self-worth, it shows your partner that you are willing to remove all filters if it means being closer to them.

WORK ON EMOTIONAL INTIMACY

Emotional intimacy is another essential aspect of relationships. To build intimacy with your partner, you must connect with them deeper and more meaningfully. Connecting emotionally doesn’t mean mandatory heart-to-heart conversations or forcing each other to share every bit of information about themselves. Demonstrating empathy, being present, listening actively, and showing genuine interest in each other’s passions can strengthen the emotional connection with your partner.

DEMONSTRATE APPRECIATION

With all the hustle and bustle of life, it is easy to take each other for granted. Practicing active appreciation can reinforce your love and dedication to each other. Some ways to show appreciation to your partner include leaving love notes, saying a sincere thank you, complimenting them publicly or privately, giving them your undivided attention, recognizing the little things, and providing constant verbal affirmations.

ENGAGE IN NEW ACTIVITIES

Tackling a new activity together not only means more bonding time but it enables you to learn more about one another. Whether learning a skill, cooking a meal together, starting a DIY home renovation project, or enrolling in a master class, engaging in new and meaningful activities can foster and cultivate intimacy in your relationship.

Ask your partner about activities they want to experience and participate in. Make sure you engage in something you both are genuinely interested in, as forcing your significant other to comply with your wants will only lead to unhealthy disagreements. 

ASK FOR HELP

Seeking professional help is an effective way to address a lack of or poor intimacy in your relationship. A skilled counselor, relationship coach, or licensed couple therapist can help break down barriers preventing you from becoming more intimate with each other. They can help you address underlying issues in your relationship and provide you with sustainable tools that can help mitigate or resolve them.

REMEMBER THE PAST

While reminiscing may not always seem constructive, tapping into nostalgia can rekindle feelings towards your partner that you may have inadvertently forgotten. Remembering the good old days can fix boredom, spark passion in your relationship, and make you more eager for your partner’s affection.

Some ways to rekindle those nostalgic feelings include looking at your old photos together, remembering specific memories, revisiting your go-to places during your early years, listening to your favorite music, and connecting with old couple friends who helped shape your relationship.

If reminiscing about the old days only makes you unhappy, it would be best to reassess your relationship. Are you sad because of how your relationship is going, or do you feel you’ve outgrown each other? Be honest with yourself and take time to consider if this relationship is worth continuing.